Sunday, January 25, 2009

I'd most certainly recommend them to a friend, however, I do not pride them in being suitable for myself.

God has a plan. If God had not foreordained the course of events but waited until some undetermined condition was or was not fulfilled, His decrees could be neither eternal nor immutable. We know, however, that He is incapable of mistake, and that He cannot be surprised by any unforeseen inconveniences. His kingdom is in the heavens and He rules over all. His plan must, therefore, include every event in the entire sweep of history.
Loraine Boettner, “The Reformed Doctrine of Predestination”

I honestly don't think I could be studying a novel such as "Sense & Sensibility" at a more prominent time. My struggles as of late are such that have left me completely torn between two worlds. I am praised by one side for being so creative, while at the same time being scolded by the other for not fitting into the cookie cutter processes this world supposedly calls for. Why can't you observe both? I think it's perfectly possible. And as long as my motivation is to please God, where can I go wrong? It's just difficult for me to accept that God would create us as emotional beings with hopes, dreams, desires, and feelings so that we can suppress them to be successful in this world.

This world is not my home.

So why strive so hard to be a part of it? I'm book-smart and I have common sense, but even my common sense will tell me that God designed me as a relational-oriented person as oppose to a task-oriented person (although there is a hint of that within myself...or that could just be OCD) with full intent. And who am I to put a price-tag on His blessings?

I understand there is a goal that is to be reached and I will not always be completely satisfied with the necessary means of reaching that goal. That's fine. That's acceptable. That's reality. But to be chided for [finally] finding the courage to pursue one's interests specifically so that they may actually put their gifts and talents to use instead of frantically seeking things in places they'll never find them seems unreasonable.

I let go of it, told God where my heart was and that I couldn't decide if I was right or wrong or both. And this time I really gave it to Him. I fasted for it. I prayed about it constantly. I had to force myself to stop worrying. And what happened? Even though I was willing and opened doors to do the "sensible" thing against all that I felt and desired to do, God gave me what I wished for.

I'm still unsure of several things, but at least I can say that God hears me. And He does indeed care about the things I care about. As long as my ultimate goal and motivation is geared toward Heaven, I have nothing to lose. Because apart from God, I am nothing, regardless of what this world claims priorities should be. I'm very glad that God does not look at us as statistics.

We want to taste and see the plans you have for our little lives. Plans for us to prosper, far away from harm. You will come and answer, when we pray to you, our God. Plans to give us hope.

You'll be found by us when we seek you with all our hearts.

1 comment:

  1. Following Christ is not a sensible thing to do. So why live a sensible life? He is a reckless God, and we need to be reckless people to follow him.

    Go be reckless.