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Thursday, August 21, 2008

Captivated

I love the rain. It's so refreshing. Today was a lovely rainy day of about 68-73 degrees tops. I don't know why, but it made me so happy. If I didn't have to work all day, I would've curled up with a book and some tea and read all day. But today was wonderful nonetheless. Today I saw four of my friends from school come into work.

Then after I got off, Jerilynn told me she was back too and wanted to go out to dinner. So we met up with Janae at Culver's and chatted for at least two hours. I love girl talk. And not the vicious gossipy girl talk. The fellowship of femininity and all the joys that flow from it. I'm so blessed to have the friends that I do. I told Jerilynn how it's like a completely different place here without them. My friends are a huge part of what makes this place feel like home. I feel like my surroundings are transforming before my eyes with each friend that returns. Even though I haven't gone any new distance than what I normally do.

It's pieces that were missing from my puzzle that are being placed back into their rightful spots.

I feel like I'm being pursued. And not by some brave, handsome knight on a noble white steed. But by my heavenly prince, who loves me more than I could ever hope to comprehend. how could I forget all the wonderful things he's done? He never changes. I change. And sometimes I become blinded by the things of this world.

But my Prince is always there to rescue me and open my eyes once again. How can I run from someone so faithful and true? I feel like Solomon's bride, constantly running away from him as he continuously calls for me to come home to him. But I get distracted by the world.

But eventually, I always find my way back to my precious Jesus. And I wonder how I became separated from Him in the first place.

And yet, He loves me anyway. Unconditionally. Faithfully. And willingly.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

"If you judge people, you don't have time to love them"

Why is it that we so often choose to look for the worst in others rather than the best? It doesn't leave them much room to exceed our expectations. When we expect the worst from a person, it's likely that's all we'll see from them, because we don't allow them to give us anything better or allow ourselves to see anything better.

If we could spend more time searching for the best in each other, we open the door for encouragement and growth. And we'd finally stop setting each other up for failure.

God did not send Jesus to die on the cross for us to judge and shun one another. He loves us as the sinners that we are. We weren't placed on the earth to be hopeless creatures lost for all eternity. We were created by God, in His image, to serve Him. And who are we to tell God that His creation isn't good enough? If it were me, I would be so terribly offended. Especially if it were my most treasured masterpiece.

~~~~~~~~~~

Update:

Packed up and moved out Thursday morning. I'm staying at my friend Jenna's while she's out of town until Monday. The apartments didn't tell us until Thursday (you know..the last day of the month) that they don't allow more than 3 unrelated persons to live in one apartment at once.

So I'm not sure what I'm going to do after Monday, but I just need somewhere to go until 2 of the girls move out at the end of the month when school starts back up and hopefully move into the apartments.

Tangent:

I applied for an auto loan yesterday. My brother is helping me find a decent car that isn't about to self destruct like the one I have. Then maybe I'd feel safe enough to drive it home so I can visit my family every once in a while. Yes, I realize there are things called planes...but I hate flying. Even though I've done it a billion times, I think it's still my biggest fear. I don't feel near as much anxiety in any other situation.

End Tangent.


I can't wait until the day I can finally find a place I can really call home. And it actually feels like a home. You know...the kind where you're actually wanted there.

And Tristen says that she believes for me. I'm so lucky to have the friends that I do. I purchased a few new scrapbooking supplies yesterday. One was this pad of rub-on quotes about friendship, and there's this one quote that I just love...because it seems to ring so incredibly true:

A friend is someone
who knows the song in your heart,
and can sing it back to you
when you have forgotten the words.

And a song that's an old favorite of mine and several of my friends began playing in my car Thursday on my way to work when I was feeling incredibly disheartened and exhausted. It reminded me that there is a God who's in control and loves me even when love seems so distant from me. A God who understands more than I ever could. A God who is eternally faithful regardless of how flawed I may be or how I stop believing in myself or how lost I get. A God who accepts my weaknesses just as much as He accepts my strengths.

Great is thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me

Morning by morning I wake up to find
The power and comfort of God’s hand in mine
Season by season I watch Him, amazed
In awe of the mystery of His perfect ways
All I have need of, His hand will provide
He’s always been faithful to me.

I can’t remember a trial or a pain
He did not recycle to bring me gain
I can’t remember one single regret
In serving God only, and trusting His hand
All I have need of, His hand will provide
He’s always been faithful to me.

Great is thy faithfulness, Oh God my father
Morning by morning new mercies I see
All I have needed thy hand hath provided
Great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me.

This is my anthem, this is my song
The theme of the stories I’ve heard for so long
God has been faithful, He will be again
His loving compassion, it knows no end
All I have need of, His hand will provide
He’s always been faithful, He’s always been faithful
He’s always been faithful to me.