Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Victory

Let me just express the internal events that took place today. I just switched my major to Biblical Studies and I'm in Sophomore Seminar for Theology. I'm the only Bible major in that class so I feel the expectations for me are somewhat higher than the others in this class. We're writing a 10-15 page Exegesis paper on a scripture assigned to each individual by our professor, and we've had these insane papers to fill out at the Library. I just switched from a Music major so I didn't have to write a whole lot of papers or make many trips to the Library so honestly, earlier today I had no idea what I was doing. And I've felt that way a lot lately.

Earlier today I was feeling really discouraged. Basically I felt like I wasn't intelligent enough to go into ministry, but I've reached my musical limits and so I was just feeling like I'm not good enough to go into anything and my entire college career and life was just going to end up in failure.

Then I realized, Hey, I switched to go into full time ministry because that is what God is calling me to do. And not only that, God isn't going to call me into failure. Those are lies that Satan is trying to use against me to bring me down and shatter every last bit of my confidence so that I can't fulfill God's work for me.

So I prayed for academic and spiritual discipline, and decided that I was going to trust God to work through me and give me the tools and confidence and abilities I need to fulfill His plan, because I know I can't do it on my own. I'm not meant to do it on my own anyway. Only God can do it through me.

And I finished that worksheet with hardly any trouble whatsoever, and I got so much accomplished today. Now that I've decided to win the victory over Satan trying to work against me, I feel so much better.

With every day God is breaking down so many of my barriers. I'm actually overcoming fears that I never expected myself to win over. But thank God, this outcome is going to be good.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Listen With Your Heart

I'm so glad God is consistent, because I myself am very inconsistent. But at least I can be assured that there's hope in my inconsistency.
So the results of AOGG auditions: He pre-casted the play. Sadly! Even the drama people themselves are upset at a great deal of injustice that took place at auditions. I guess he wants to use this show to showcase the drama dept. So I could've been Anne Shirley in the flesh or completely bombed it and it wouldn't have mattered. It's just disappointing because all the work done since August to prepare myself for these auditions meant nothing. But there's a reason for everything. I got Ruby Gillis. The smaller parts were given to the non-drama majors. But for some reason, God wanted me to be Ruby...so be it!
School is busier than ever and it's still only January! There is so much in store for this semester, I can hardly wait. I only wish I had more time to excel in my homemaking skills! This weekend my roommate and I spent some time learning to crochet and loom knit. Honestly, if I could major in homemaking I would totally do it.
Just thought I'd update. Now I have lots of homework to do...

"Ask God to see the world through His eyes."

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

School Sweet School

I'm back at school once again! Break was good and somewhat refreshing. Auditions for Anne of Green Gables are next week, so Tristen and I picked up a script today. It's such a wonderful storyline!

If I could choose anything I learned over my break it would be these things:

  1. Love people. Everyone. Even those who seem to be unlovable. We're called to do so. Yes, sometimes it's hard. And you can sit there and think of reasons why you should shun or close certain people out all you want, but how on earth are they to learn to love themselves unless someone sheds some light upon them and shows them how? One of the best ways to reach people is by being an example.
  2. Forgive. You can't love if you can't forgive. One of the most difficult things for me to forgive is selfishness. I hate so much to sit there watching people make decisions without caring a bit how negatively it affects the people around them. But I have to forgive them. I think of all the things I've said and done to cause pain to my God. While He sits there watching my recklessness...He's always forgiven me and welcomed me home with open arms. And if my merciful savior forgives me no matter my decisions, then I must show the same courtesy. I wrote a couple quotes down regarding forgiveness from Beth Moore's "When Godly People Do Ungodly Things":
"The same God who knew in advance
that you would become one of His
children also knew in advance that
you'd be susceptible to fall for a
deceptive scheme of the evil one. Still,
He says you were adopted with pleasure."

"After all God has done for me, if I were to
withhold from the Pharisee the right to
splash in the river of forgiveness, it would
make me a bigger one than he."

I also read a quote earlier today that said, "God is so much easier to please than people." I think this also includes ourselves. Life becomes so much more enjoyable when we choose to please God over ourselves. I see when I try to please myself I am never fulfilled, and usually unhappy.

3. Don't wait for change. Be the spark of the flame yourself. The peacemaker Gandhi said it so well, "Be the change you want to see in the world." I want to see God's character reflected in our lives, and that can begin with me. There's no use in sitting here waiting for it to happen. Take a risk and let God use you in the unknown. You can't even imagine the adventure that will be set before you!

Classes begin again tomorrow. This will be my first semester in my new major. I'm excited but also utterly terrified. But like I said, I need to take a risk and see how God is going to use me. And I must remember to act and write from the heart.

Also in other news, in a couple weeks I'll be going to Florida for a Leadership Conference. I was chosen with 3 other people from my school to attend. I'm so very excited. I'm anticipating the new relationships I'll build on this trip.

My missions trip to Mexico is in about two months also. I still need to raise more funds, so if I may ask that you pray for God to provide for me and the other kids going, I would be forever grateful!

That's really all the news I can think of for now. I should go finish organizing my planner for the semester so I won't have to worry about it later. Farewell, friends!

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

A Prayer For A Friend

This I pray for you, my friend -
that you strive to be all that you can be,
yet never become a copy of another.
That you realize your own unique qualities
and all that makes you special.
That you open up your eyes to the beauty in each day.
That you reach out to others less fortunate than you.
That by giving you learn the joy of receiving.
That you let go of the sadness of the past,
yet always remember the good moments.
That you learn to accept life as it is,
even with its disappointments.
For life is meant to be enjoyed and at all times endured,
but never take it for granted.
And I pray that you will be aware at all times
that you are one special person,
among all special persons.
And do the best you can.
By: Robin Morgan