I'd most certainly recommend them to a friend, however, I do not pride them in being suitable for myself.

“God has a plan. If God had not foreordained the course of events but waited until some undetermined condition was or was not fulfilled, His decrees could be neither eternal nor immutable. We know, however, that He is incapable of mistake, and that He cannot be surprised by any unforeseen inconveniences. His kingdom is in the heavens and He rules over all. His plan must, therefore, include every event in the entire sweep of history.”
Loraine Boettner, “The Reformed Doctrine of Predestination”

I honestly don't think I could be studying a novel such as "Sense & Sensibility" at a more prominent time. My struggles as of late are such that have left me completely torn between two worlds. I am praised by one side for being so creative, while at the same time being scolded by the other for not fitting into the cookie cutter processes this world supposedly calls for. Why can't you observe both? I think it's perfectly possible. And as long as my motivation is to please God, where can I go wrong? It's just difficult for me to accept that God would create us as emotional beings with hopes, dreams, desires, and feelings so that we can suppress them to be successful in this world.

This world is not my home.

So why strive so hard to be a part of it? I'm book-smart and I have common sense, but even my common sense will tell me that God designed me as a relational-oriented person as oppose to a task-oriented person (although there is a hint of that within myself...or that could just be OCD) with full intent. And who am I to put a price-tag on His blessings?

I understand there is a goal that is to be reached and I will not always be completely satisfied with the necessary means of reaching that goal. That's fine. That's acceptable. That's reality. But to be chided for [finally] finding the courage to pursue one's interests specifically so that they may actually put their gifts and talents to use instead of frantically seeking things in places they'll never find them seems unreasonable.

I let go of it, told God where my heart was and that I couldn't decide if I was right or wrong or both. And this time I really gave it to Him. I fasted for it. I prayed about it constantly. I had to force myself to stop worrying. And what happened? Even though I was willing and opened doors to do the "sensible" thing against all that I felt and desired to do, God gave me what I wished for.

I'm still unsure of several things, but at least I can say that God hears me. And He does indeed care about the things I care about. As long as my ultimate goal and motivation is geared toward Heaven, I have nothing to lose. Because apart from God, I am nothing, regardless of what this world claims priorities should be. I'm very glad that God does not look at us as statistics.

We want to taste and see the plans you have for our little lives. Plans for us to prosper, far away from harm. You will come and answer, when we pray to you, our God. Plans to give us hope.

You'll be found by us when we seek you with all our hearts.

Who is to mark time? And how are we to outrun it?

"Why didn't you go to art school?"

...Why DIDN'T I go to art school?!

I guess the more obvious answer to this would be that God called me to work in women's ministry. And I learn better on my own. I also suppose that you don't necessarily need a degree in art in order to be considered good. Where as a woman in ministry (especially a single woman at that), it helps to have a degree (and a pastor for a husband).

Speaking of which, I was looking at the job offers outside of the Theology Department this morning and most of them required the individual to be married. What if you're called to singleness?? What if you're single for the mere fact that you're actually setting yourself apart and trusting that God is going to bring the man of your dreams into your life and lead you into a pure, God-glorifying relationship? I would think if that were to happen during the course of a single person's time as, say, a Youth Pastor, it would be a GREAT example to young people about God's original intent for relationships and marriage.

But I'm just a single girl trying to go into ministry.

Thank God for Etsy. ;)

See ya in April.

I got a camera. I can hardley express my total excitement to finally pursue something I've been interested in for so long.

I now have the power to capture memories. Feelings. Beauty.
Time.

I'm heading back to Missouri tonight! I'm eager to start school again!

Happy New Year!

Because.

FINALLY got home at 4am. It took me about 27 hours to get home. My first train was 5 hours late. What was supposed to be a 5.5 hour train ride lasted 7 hours.

Finally got to Chicago.

My wallet got stolen within the first 15 minutes I was there.

I have no money, ID, and I've probably just gotten my identity stolen.

But one lady blessed me with $20 so I could eat, and another girl gave me a granola bar (at this point, I hadn't eaten anything all day).

Then the next train home was delayed for at least another 5 and a half hours, but luckily Matt was only a few hours away and was heading home so he came and picked me up, and my train still hadn't left.

Then, like I said, finally got home at 4am. My mom and sister welcomed me with signs and a tiara and balloons and those party noise makers. That was enjoyable, especially after one of the crappiest days ever.

Canceled all my cards and memberships today. But I'm still a little worried about my Soc. Guess we'll find out on my credit reports. And I'll need to get a new license the moment I get back. Except I can't drive to get there.

But I have to wonder...what idiot would steal a wallet from a college student? They'll be sorely disappointed. And I hope they are. Jerk.

Now I just have to find a way to get home without any identity but a ticket stub.

But at least here there's lots and lots of snow. :) And familiar faces.

Oh! do not attack me with your watch. A watch is always too fast or too slow. I cannot be dictated to by a watch.

Might I just express my excitement that I am officially enrolled in a class that is dedicated to a thorough study of Jane Austen's work??

:D!!!

Believe

I wonder what would happen if the world believed in God the way they hype about Santa:

Believe

(Click the 'Yes, Virginia Letter' and you'll see what I mean)

My totally super special awesome phone call!!

Once upon a time in a land far away there was a girl we'll call Lis. Lis was hired as a supervisor at a retail store which shalt not be named. It was cool at first, because she got a fancy name tag and this store contained objects that suit her favorite hobbies at a discounted price.

One day, after months of denying it, she realized that she hated her job with a deep passion lit by the burning flames of hell. She had a desire to build relationships with people and change the world. After attending a life-changing conference she had finally decided that the world was not going to wait for her to get her degree to change it (because at the rate she was going, that could be a very long time). Thus, she began researching for opportunities that would coincide with her career path.

After minutes turned into hours, hours turned into days, days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into about a month or so, Lis stumbled upon a ministry in her area that works with high schoolers in an attempt to reach them at one of the most critical times in their lives where they will be most influenced. It would basically pay her for acting like a kid. "Behold!" She exclaimed, "It's like being a camp counselor every day! And I'd be able to wear a different outfit every day?! I have suffered at the hands of the khaki pants and black button down shirts conspiracy for much too long! Plus, no more Christmastime in retail!"

So she filled out an online form on their website praising them for the ingenius idea to reach out to the city that she resided in and asked if they had any opportunities available.

One day passed. Then two..then three, until time turned into two weeks. And finally, her cellular telephone began singing "I Feel It All" by the ever talented Feist. She reached over and picked it up, holding her hand to one ear as the household dog began barking at absolutely nothing.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is this Lis?" (Pronounced incorrectly...as usual)

"Yes! This is Lis." (She corrected the pronunciation...as usual)

He apologized for mispronouncing her name, and she assured him that it happened every day of her life, so he had nothing to worry about.

He introduced himself as one of the dudes from this organization she had shown interest in. He explained how amazing God works, because they had been praying for new leaders to come and join their team. He apologized for taking so long to call her, but she assured him of her excitement that he even did call her at all.

They chatted for a few moments and agreed to meet sometime the next week to discuss more about the organization and see if Lis was really interested in joining their team.

She hung up the phone and just marveled at how amazing God is. Then she ran into the kitchen to share the news with the wonderful family she was living with, and asked everyone and their mom for prayer that this was the next place God was leading her.

To be continued...