Designed For Life

WHOO HOO!!

Promo ;)

We've been anticipating and praying for this weekend for months.

There Is A Sun-Star Rising Outside Form

Yesterday as I was driving to work there was a rainbow in the East. It hadn't even rained! But to the right of the sun, there it was, hanging gloriously in the morning sky, welcoming the day.

Then my morning got even better. Gas was only $2.66!! I filled up on $30! It was decided, it was definitely going to be a lucky day.

And work wasn't too terrible. Of course we had the normal crabby customers who think bringing their bad moods into our store is going to force us to comply to their every...want. But if the worst thing that happens to them that day is that we can't honor their non-existent coupon or use it on a book, I'm grateful I don't have to witness them handle a real problem. But amidst them, I had a customer, who I guess I've checked out times before, who told me that I was always so pleasant when she came into the store. :) It was very thoughtful of her to say so. And words of affirmation always lift my spirits.

Nothing of real significance happened yesterday. But I've been seeing more "doubles" lately. Hmm..what's the next one? 10/10. 11/11. 21/21.

.....22?!

I feel like I just solved a piece to a puzzle!! Haahaha!!

Anyway...still haven't figured out what on earth "Martin's Troops" refers to. I've discovered a dude named Martin who led the 17th North Carolina Infantry in the mid to late 1800s. It's still the most random thing I've ever come up with.

Today I met a lady who is moving to Europe because she's a writer and can go anywhere she wants to. How exciting that sounds! I wish I was bold enough to be a writer. But I can only imagine the inspiration that must flow from such surroundings that dwell in Europe. But I suppose you could find beauty just about anywhere if you allowed yourself to. It must be a real-life adventure, living the life of a writer. Well...I suppose it would also be not-so-real-life cause...they're a writer...

A Necessary Autumn Inside Each

You and I have spoken all these words, but as for the way
we have to go, words

are no preparation. There is no getting ready, other than
grace. My faults

have stayed hidden. One might call that a preparation!
I have one small drop

of knowing in my soul. Let it dissolve in your ocean.
There are so many threats to it.

Inside each of us, there's continual autumn. Our leaves
fall and are blown out

over the water. A crow sits in the blackened limbs and talks
about what's gone. Then

your generosity returns: spring, moisture, intelligence, the
scent of hyacinth and rose

and cypress. Joseph is back! And if you don't feel in
yourself the freshness of

Joseph, be Jacob! Weep and then smile. Don't pretend to know
something you haven't experienced.

There's a necessary dying, and then Jesus is breathing again.
Very little grows on jagged

rock. Be ground. Be crumbled, so wildflowers will come up
where you are. You've been

stony for too many years. Try something different. Surrender.

-Rumi

Whatever, Martha!

So I just discovered that Martha Stewart's daughter has a TV show dedicated to poking fun at her mother. It's kind of sad to watch. It just seems like therapy for all her bitterness toward her mother...not very pleasant.



And I'll be honest, I'm a fan and frequent user of Martha Stewart Crafts. Whether she thought these little ideas up herself or not, I enjoy them nonetheless.

Hallelujah

Why is it that so many people who are given the gift of love and marriage take it for granted? Too often I witness people looking at marriage as though it is simply a contract that can be easily broken with a small fee. But I can't pull myself to believe in such a thing. Is it not more of a covenant between a husband and wife and God? It's a gift, like the covenant God made with us by sending Jesus to die for us. It's a commitment. What if God decided to break His covenant with us just as easily?

And I think the part of me that is frustrated the most about it is that there are us who are (by the grace of God) patiently waiting for the right person as we endure what is, at times, an immense loneliness while speculating these injustices being done. On the other hand, it makes me grateful for my singleness and that God has set me apart. And I'm not saying it's always both sides of the party that mishandle things. Often times it's only one, and my heart breaks for the other person who usually didn't even see it coming. It happens way too often. But I can only pray that God will redeem them and bless them greatly for continuing to be faithful to the unfaithful. Although I may not tell these dear friends of mine so, I admire them for their strength to endure their messy break ups and divorces.

But we can be grateful that God keeps His promises because He is faithful, and there's something even better awaiting all of us.

I guess I'm just in that season of my life where relationships are blooming or wilting and people are getting married or not-so-married. Since I'm still the single one, all I really do is observe. Sometimes I have to remind myself I'm only about 21. I don't feel 21. But then again, I haven't necessarily felt that I fit in my age group for quite some time now. However, it does assure me that I have plenty of time according to the average life-span of a human being. :)

So this was just a collective rambling since I haven't been keeping up much in this blog. Usually my physical journals last from May to May..but I actually don't have too many pages left in the one I'm using now. Which stinks, cause it's my favorite design thus far. But the next one I have waiting for me with its empty pages is a pretty nifty one. Probably the most unique one yet.

Anyway..midnight is now in the past and we're going to a corn maze later. One of my most favorite things! :)

Thinking Without Limits

Autumn is officially here!! Although the first day of Autumn was warmer than the last day of Summer. But this week it's nice and cool. I loooove the fall! Yesterday we decorated the house in a gorgeous array of colors with leaves and pumpkins and such. It was pretty wonderful.

I'm preparing to go back to school next semester. The only downfall is that it's difficult for part-time students to get financial aid. But at least it'll be about half the price. I've really enjoyed this time off though. It's really helped me to allow God to place some things in my life. To find more pieces to my puzzle. :)

I'm dropping music altogether, though. Honestly, I just want to sing. And I don't need a degree to sing if I don't plan on doing professional opera or anything. So to replace my music minor I have Sociology. Which, lucky for me, Theology, Sociology, and Leadership share a lot of the same classes. And I think the collaboration of the three of these will be much more enjoyable than the last.

In other news, I'm in three weddings next Spring/Summer! April, May, and...July. I get June off I guess. :) The funny thing is, in all of them I'm wearing different shades of blue. And as much as I hate to plan my wedding before I even know who my future husband is, I've concluded that blue will not be one of the colors in our wedding. haha But wow...I can't even believe how many people have been getting engaged just in the past two months! Everyone's growing up so fast. I wish they'd wait for me.

Anyway, I'm going to go paint. Yes. Paint. :) I decided that since I cannot yet afford my camera, I will create images with my own two hands. One of these days, though!

Captivated

I love the rain. It's so refreshing. Today was a lovely rainy day of about 68-73 degrees tops. I don't know why, but it made me so happy. If I didn't have to work all day, I would've curled up with a book and some tea and read all day. But today was wonderful nonetheless. Today I saw four of my friends from school come into work.

Then after I got off, Jerilynn told me she was back too and wanted to go out to dinner. So we met up with Janae at Culver's and chatted for at least two hours. I love girl talk. And not the vicious gossipy girl talk. The fellowship of femininity and all the joys that flow from it. I'm so blessed to have the friends that I do. I told Jerilynn how it's like a completely different place here without them. My friends are a huge part of what makes this place feel like home. I feel like my surroundings are transforming before my eyes with each friend that returns. Even though I haven't gone any new distance than what I normally do.

It's pieces that were missing from my puzzle that are being placed back into their rightful spots.

I feel like I'm being pursued. And not by some brave, handsome knight on a noble white steed. But by my heavenly prince, who loves me more than I could ever hope to comprehend. how could I forget all the wonderful things he's done? He never changes. I change. And sometimes I become blinded by the things of this world.

But my Prince is always there to rescue me and open my eyes once again. How can I run from someone so faithful and true? I feel like Solomon's bride, constantly running away from him as he continuously calls for me to come home to him. But I get distracted by the world.

But eventually, I always find my way back to my precious Jesus. And I wonder how I became separated from Him in the first place.

And yet, He loves me anyway. Unconditionally. Faithfully. And willingly.

"If you judge people, you don't have time to love them"

Why is it that we so often choose to look for the worst in others rather than the best? It doesn't leave them much room to exceed our expectations. When we expect the worst from a person, it's likely that's all we'll see from them, because we don't allow them to give us anything better or allow ourselves to see anything better.

If we could spend more time searching for the best in each other, we open the door for encouragement and growth. And we'd finally stop setting each other up for failure.

God did not send Jesus to die on the cross for us to judge and shun one another. He loves us as the sinners that we are. We weren't placed on the earth to be hopeless creatures lost for all eternity. We were created by God, in His image, to serve Him. And who are we to tell God that His creation isn't good enough? If it were me, I would be so terribly offended. Especially if it were my most treasured masterpiece.

~~~~~~~~~~

Update:

Packed up and moved out Thursday morning. I'm staying at my friend Jenna's while she's out of town until Monday. The apartments didn't tell us until Thursday (you know..the last day of the month) that they don't allow more than 3 unrelated persons to live in one apartment at once.

So I'm not sure what I'm going to do after Monday, but I just need somewhere to go until 2 of the girls move out at the end of the month when school starts back up and hopefully move into the apartments.

Tangent:

I applied for an auto loan yesterday. My brother is helping me find a decent car that isn't about to self destruct like the one I have. Then maybe I'd feel safe enough to drive it home so I can visit my family every once in a while. Yes, I realize there are things called planes...but I hate flying. Even though I've done it a billion times, I think it's still my biggest fear. I don't feel near as much anxiety in any other situation.

End Tangent.


I can't wait until the day I can finally find a place I can really call home. And it actually feels like a home. You know...the kind where you're actually wanted there.

And Tristen says that she believes for me. I'm so lucky to have the friends that I do. I purchased a few new scrapbooking supplies yesterday. One was this pad of rub-on quotes about friendship, and there's this one quote that I just love...because it seems to ring so incredibly true:

A friend is someone
who knows the song in your heart,
and can sing it back to you
when you have forgotten the words.

And a song that's an old favorite of mine and several of my friends began playing in my car Thursday on my way to work when I was feeling incredibly disheartened and exhausted. It reminded me that there is a God who's in control and loves me even when love seems so distant from me. A God who understands more than I ever could. A God who is eternally faithful regardless of how flawed I may be or how I stop believing in myself or how lost I get. A God who accepts my weaknesses just as much as He accepts my strengths.

Great is thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me

Morning by morning I wake up to find
The power and comfort of God’s hand in mine
Season by season I watch Him, amazed
In awe of the mystery of His perfect ways
All I have need of, His hand will provide
He’s always been faithful to me.

I can’t remember a trial or a pain
He did not recycle to bring me gain
I can’t remember one single regret
In serving God only, and trusting His hand
All I have need of, His hand will provide
He’s always been faithful to me.

Great is thy faithfulness, Oh God my father
Morning by morning new mercies I see
All I have needed thy hand hath provided
Great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me.

This is my anthem, this is my song
The theme of the stories I’ve heard for so long
God has been faithful, He will be again
His loving compassion, it knows no end
All I have need of, His hand will provide
He’s always been faithful, He’s always been faithful
He’s always been faithful to me.