Friday, May 29, 2009

You don't alter Vera Wang to fit you, you alter yourself to fit Vera Wang!

Hahaha, so I love taking those online qiuzzes to fill time and procrastinate. Vera Wang has this fragrance line called "Princess" and there was this quiz to "Find Out What Kind of Princess you Are!" How could I pass something like this up?? Check out the results I got:

You're a...BOHEMIAN PRINCESS. After the party, Bohemian Princess stopped by the coffee house where she worked to perform a spoken word reading. She read a couple of her poems and unbeknownst to her a publisher was there listening. He was so impressed he gave her a book deal on the spot and sent her off to Paris to write poems and be inspired. While there she met and fell instantly in love with a famous French poet. She continued to write, donating much of her money to charity. Because of her talent and philanthropy Hollywood did a movie version of her life and she lived happily ever after in Paris on the left bank, knowing how to live right.

I, Bohemian Princess, promise to always express myself in an original way, to remember to eat organic, be sure to go to graduate school and/or live abroad, never forget to support my friends in their jewelry, pottery and/or writing endeavors, and to always wear Vera Wang Princess.

I especially like the parts about the coffee shop where I work and always eating organic. I found that hilariously ironic!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

There Is Freedom

Then the time came when the risk it took
To remain tight in a bud was more painful
Than the risk it took to blossom.
-
Anais Nin

This was perfectly timed. Imagine that, God knows what He's doing. As much as I wish to be completely invisible most days, I sense God slowly nudging me in another direction.

Be strong and courageous.

But God, I just want to live my life without people acknowledging my existence so much. If I'm invisible, my self-esteem doesn't get knocked down a couple notches every time I leave my home. You see what I'm saying?

But I have something more.

But I'm not capable. I'm a magnet for disaster. I never do things right or say the right things..I can't even come into contact with a single flight of stairs without falling down them or have a coherent conversation with a stranger without babbling or embarrassing myself in some way.

I am the vine and you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.

...Okay you have a point. Sigh. Alright. Jesus, take the wheel.

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And that is the gist of my convos with God as of late. Finally, I'm letting Him win. Not that I was winning before. I was just trying to win and failing miserably, causing this game to last longer than necessary.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Ladies Choice

I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.
Psalm 139:14

I've never been very confident in myself. Granted, some of that comes naturally by simply being a woman. Feeling inadequate in so many different ways. And no matter how many times people try to tell you how they see you and how God sees you, it won't really sink in until you make a choice. Until God shows you Himself. It isn't anyone else's job to make you discover a clear view of yourself. At least for me, I've completely closed the door and bolted it shut. You know, that door that allows you to base your feelings and self image off the way other people see you. I want God to show me Himself. I want to believe it whole heartedly, to see the reasons why He would choose me. And because I need to choose Him. No one else can do that for me.